Something many of us don’t understand, we can’t begin to grasp the magnitude of what they are, nor how they effect us. We simply think of emotions as how we feel. Time has taught me many lessons throughout my life so far and one I would like to share with you right now.
We recently had family visit us in our Japan home for the holidays. The trip was wonderful, we spent time just enjoying the company, while also exploring and seeing the sights. However, the time came when our family had to leave us and head back to the states. This is something that I knew was going to happen and I felt I was prepared for this. We have had to say many good-byes in our short time in the military thus far, and I thought I could handle this. My husband and I have 2 children, our son who is 3 and our daughter who is 6. Both children knew that the family was leaving and both seemed to take it ok, at first. However, upon arriving at the airport, my son had a meltdown and kept saying he didn’t want them to go, he wanted them to stay at his house. My daughter seemed to understand that they would be back and we would see them again, she was sad but she held back the tears. We said our good-byes and began walking out to the van. At this moment, holding the hand of my 6 year old daughter, she looks up at me and says, “parents always stay calm when things go wrong.”
I was in utter shock. These words that came from her mouth were so innocent, pure and true to her. Yet, as I loaded up the van and we began to drive home the words kept running through my mind. She felt that we stayed calm during moments of chaos. I was thrilled to an extent, she had realized Mommy had it under control. I had passed the test, I remained calm and collected during a time that was challenging emotionally for me.
Now, if you are parent, you have been placed in similar situations. We put on our brave faces, smiles and portray that we have it all together as we face obstacles. Knowing very well that we are just pulling through for our children. I came home got the kids settled and made a bee line for the shower, my place to hide from the world and let my emotions escape if only for a moment or two. I cried in the shower for awhile, then realized the world was still turning outside. So, I got out got dressed and kept pushing through. My emotions had gotten the better of me at that moment, but once I knew that I was ok and that my children were watching, I gladly placed that brave face smile back on my face and moved forward.
We hold so much in to protect our children. We let them believe that we stay calm, this was a moment in time that I never wanted to forget. My daughter had seen that in her moment of need, she could count on me to be her rock. She knew that I would be there to wipe away her tears and make it better, if only for a moment. Emotions are tricky, confusing and sneaky. We may never understand them, nor how they truly effect us. We place a high emphasis on being a good role model for our children. Yet, they learn so much from us and things we didn’t even know we were teaching them.
If we take a step back and really look we can see that each person in this world is facing their own challenges. Each day we all must face our own struggles. Even a 3 or 6 year old child has struggles they face. We may not think of them as a struggle, yet to them they are. We each place our smiles on our faces and push through one day at a time. Everyone has been that kid on the playground who got picked on and had to fight back tears, or the person who got fired from work and won’t let their kids see them cry about it. We’ve each put on a brave face to portray we aren’t struggling. Why? Why do we do this if we know that everyone has their days when tears are struggling to be set free?
The world. We want the world to be a better place. I smile and hold back tears to protect my daughter, son, family and the world. There is enough sadness in our world and sometimes we feel that if we smile, the world might be a better place, just for today. We don’t want anyone to see that we are human, that we all make mistakes, we all cry, we all fear, we all hope and we all struggle.
I learned a lesson on that day. A lesson I didn’t know I would learn. I can reassure you, there will be times when the tears will come, no matter how hard you fight, letting go and letting your emotions take over, sometimes is exactly what we need. Emotions, they are always there, always sneaking up on us when we least expect them to. We may feel we have them under control, yet we know nothing about them.
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. It is when we lean on another during our weakest times that we find strength within ourselves. My daughter, leaned on her mommy and daddy and she made it through. She knew that “when things go wrong, parents always stay calm.” Those words touched my heart and reminded me that everyday my children need me, everyday is a new day and that everyday we learn a new lesson. We learn more about ourselves and more about the world around us. It’s ok to open your eyes and look around. You will be amazed at what you will see. There are so many things the world has to show us.
Till Next Time,